Deployment

   Life has definitely been a roller coaster lately. I've been a walking ball of emotions. There have been days on end that I spend every second trying not to cry because I know it will make him feel even worse. He doesn't want to go, but it's a duty. Sure, there are pros and cons to every situation, but when it comes down to it I know he would rather be home with his girls.

   The last fews weeks have been filled with lots of hugs, kisses and hand holding. Memorizing the way his face crinkles when he laughs. Watching him light up when his daughter giggles at him. Dying to spend every possible second with him. Following him into the bathroom just to sit while he showers. Doing everything possible to be near him at all times.

   There have been plenty of good times and memories made. But it's never enough. I constantly think of what he will miss of babygirl and our coming baby. The moments sitting up late in the hospital after birth, just staring at our new child while she sleeps. I wonder if either girl will know who he is when he returns, how much 'stranger danger' we will have to deal with before they are comfortable with their daddy. That rips my heart to shreds.

   It's silly, but anytime the National Anthem was played while I watched the Olympics, I choked back tears. Any patriotic song that plays on the radio I have to change. I break down constantly.

   Family and friends offer to keep you busy, to keep your mind off things. But being alone is sometimes more comforting than forcing a fake smile on your face and attempting to hold it together as you count the minutes until you can leave and have another good cry into his pillow. Family struggles to find the right things to say but honestly, just saying nothing and giving space is the best thing for the time being. I get tired of repeating "I'm fine" over and over.

I definitely get tired of hearing people whine over not seeing their significant other for a night or even a weekend. Heck, a week is nothing either! Until you've dealt with long separation, I have no sympathy. Nada.

Life should pick up it's pace for me very shortly. I have just weeks to countdown until a new babygirl is here and I know time will fly. Once she is born life will change dramatically for me learning to juggle and balance two kids. I think of babygirl now almost being 2 years old. When I sit and think about it, 2 years went by in a flash. I blinked and it went that quickly.


However, I still have to live life day to day. There are still 24 very long hours in each day that I will not be with him. I will have to go to bed alone, curled up in his favorite t-shirt. I will have to spend holidays, anniversaries, birthdays without him. I will have to just get used to him being gone. There will be plenty of days where I get up and force myself to just go through the motions.
To just be.

Week 24

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How far along? 24 weeks

Maternity clothes? Yes

Weight: 125

Waist: 32 in

Stretch marks? Nope!

Sleep: Ready to join babygirl in her afternoon naps again

Symptoms: Tons of pressure. Had to dig out my pregnancy support belt  

Best moment this week: Hubby surprising me with Blake Shelton tickets

Miss Anything? I miss feeling normal and not stressed due to hubby leaving next week

Movement: Yes, some days she is nuts and others pretty chill.

Food cravings: Pumpkin lattes!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Hot dogs served at my niece's birthday party. The smell grossed me out

Have you started to show yet: Yes

Gender: Team PINK!!

Labour Signs: 0

Belly Button in or out? Way out, showing through almost all my shirts now

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody most of the time: Very emotional

Looking forward to: Not a lot currently

Purchases: All of the finishing touches for the nursery and babygirl's big girl bed!

No more white walls for my weekly photos.

I will probably have to find somewhere new to take my pics since hubby helped with these.

Also, I will post all about the new nursery soon.

Time goes on

I can NOT believe I am 6 months pregnant!

Where has time gone?

I remember with babygirl I thought time was

DRAGGING!

I literally just blinked and we're over halfway done being pregnant this time.

I know what's different.

There's been a date looming darkly before us.

And now all I have left is 2 weeks.

Then hubby is gone for almost a year.

We've done this before.

But life was dramatically different 5 years ago.

So I have decided to devote my whole 7th month of pregnancy

 to myself.

Making sure I continue to stay healthy for not only me, but the little one growing inside of me.

Remembering to eat enough and sleep enough.

I am one of those people that lose their appetite when stressed or worried.

I can go a day or two without food ever crossing my mind.

This worries my mother and sister.

But I know!

I know it is not just my body at the moment.

I never do this on purpose, it just isn't something on my mind.

I want to spend the month cherishing one-on-one time with my babygirl.

I want to spend as much time with her just having fun and being out doing things together.

I got a list of community events going on this fall and have highlighted different things that I know she would enjoy.

I want to keep her busy (and myself!) so that we don't just sit and mope around.

I have a feeling once winter hits and baby #2 comes along,

we will most likely turn into hermits.

Venturing out into the world with a toddler and a newborn in the snow

does not sound like my cup of tea!

I know that my emotions and attitude will directly affect her.

I want to make all of the big life changes as easy as possible on her.

Being two isn't easy!

Throw daddy leaving, and getting a new baby on top of that.

Life is about to be a roller coaster!

But we got this!

I know I am strong.

I know I can do this.

I can get through this.

Days will turn into weeks and months.

Time will continue to fly.

Then hubby will be back home.

Safe and sound.

In my arms.

Right where he belongs.

And life will be good.

Week 23

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How far along? 23 weeks

Maternity clothes? Yes

Weight: 124.6

Waist: 31.75 in

Stretch marks? Nope!

Sleep: Have a hard time falling asleep lately, but I think that's due to too much on my mind and not pregnancy.

Symptoms: Major heartburn! Some carpal tunnel-like symptoms in my left hand

Best moment this week: Hubby coming home again from somewhere else this time.

Miss Anything? My normal child. She has turned into a monster lately exploring the terrible 2's!!

Movement: Yes, she is slowly developing a pattern of awake and asleep times.

Food cravings: Still Cookie Cottage!! I really need to fulfill this one asap! Pumpkin coffee!

Anything making you queasy or sick: It's funny, but I gag so much after eating a bowl of cereal this week

Have you started to show yet: Yes 

Gender: Team PINK!!

Labour Signs: 0

Belly Button in or out? Way out, showing through almost all my shirts now

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody most of the time: Very emotional

Looking forward to: Buying the paint and supplies for the nursery

Purchases: Crib bedding set and accessories for the nursery. 3 outfits, 2 headbands, and a Swaddle blanket

Week 22

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How far along? 22 weeks

Maternity clothes? Yes

Weight: 123.8

Waist: 31.5 in

Stretch marks? Nope!

Sleep: Not a problem at all! Now that I'm home, I've been taking advantage of babygirl's naptime!

Symptoms: Heartburn, headaches and braxton hicks

Best moment this week: Hubby coming home!

Miss Anything? Getting dressed easily in the mornings

Movement: Yes, was even able to catch some on camera for hubby

Food cravings: Still Cookie Cottage!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Still brushing my teeth

Have you started to show yet: Yes definitely

Gender: Team PINK!!

Labour Signs: 0

Belly Button in or out? Out

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy

Looking forward to: Starting on the nursery in the next few weeks

I'm adding a new one this week.. that way I will be able to keep hubby updated with everything we've gotten once he is gone.

Purchases: Baby Book! I've had my eye on this one at WalMart for about 2 weeks now. Finally broke down and bought it.

We had a Princess theme for babygirl and

I've decided that since all little girls are princesses,

my second girl should have a Princess book too.

I realize I should NOT have started these pictures in front of a white wall!

I am SO pale!

Just a teeny update..

Yes, I do realize my blog has been taken over by my pregnancy.

I have every intention of correcting this and getting back to regular blogging

as well as continuing my weekly updates.

Life has been hectic,

to say the least.

Hubby is finally back from 3 long weeks of training.

Only to find out he has to leave again for 4 more days.

This is stressing me out!

We are less than 30 days away from the Leave Day =(

I feel panicky.

Like I am not able to see him enough or spend enough time with him.

Every moment we are together I want to be near him.

This is tough with an almost 2 year old running crazy around the house.

I know I'll miss the little things.

Sitting on the couch watching tv.

Laying in bed chatting late at night.

Holding his hand when we drive in the car.

While he was gone for his 3 week training, my mind kicked over to "deployment mode."

Someone on Twitter was whining about not seeing her husband for one day.

One day!

I had a silent-self meltdown.

I pretended to have understanding...

While deep down, I was tempted to smack some sense into her. ;)

(I'm pretty sure my pregnancy hormones are not helping me lately.)

So once again,

I will resume regular blogging.

I aim to keep this updated with tons of pictures and descriptions of days

for hubby to peek in at while he is gone.

My way of ensuring he has a little taste of home.

Week 21

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How far along? 21 weeks

Maternity clothes? Yes

Weight: 123.8 

Waist: 31.25 in

Stretch marks? Nope!

Sleep: Still can't get enough! Ready to share naptimes with babygirl next week!

Symptoms: Heartburn

Best moment this week: My last day at work and then officially becoming a stay at home mom!!

Miss Anything? My husband!

Movement: Yes! This is why I remember I love being pregnant

Food cravings: Cookie Cottage!

Anything making you queasy or sick: brushing my teeth.. this came out of no where again

Have you started to show yet: Yes definitely

Gender: Team PINK!!

Labour Signs: 0

Belly Button in or out? Very much out.. Did you see my 20 wk picture? ;) 

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody most of the time: Very happy

Looking forward to: No more work and hubby coming home!

Week 20

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Half-way Point!!

How far along? 20 weeks

Maternity clothes? Yes

Weight: 123.4  (yikes! 3 lbs this week!)

Waist: 31 in 

Stretch marks? Nope!

Sleep: Trouble waking up. Totally woke up at 8:30 by a phone call from my coworker one day this week when I was supposed to be at work by 8... yeah, about that...

Symptoms: Sciatica! It's back with a vengeance! It seriously brings me to my knees.

Best moment this week: Knowing I only have one week left of work!

Miss Anything? My husband!

Movement: Yes! This is why I remember I love being pregnant

Food cravings: French fries

Anything making you queasy or sick: the usual

Have you started to show yet: Yes definitely 

Gender: Team PINK!!

Labour Signs: 0

Belly Button in or out? Out  

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy

Looking forward to: No more work!

Big sister wanted to play photo shoot too..